"you’re too young to determine your sexuality" said no one to the heterosexual teenager
- breathe in for 4 seconds
- hold your breath for 7 seconds
- exhale breath for 8 seconds
repeat once or twice more.
This causes an autonomic nervous system shift from a sympathetic (fight or flight reaction) state to a parasympathetic response.
Use this for panic/anxiety attacks, exams, presentations.
That moment in your childhood when you realize that Diagon Alley is just the word diagonally….
And the Mirror of Erised is just the word desire backwards.
Didn’t even realize. Does that mean Knockturn Alley is nocturnally (dark/night)?
Yes, and Grimmauld Place is a play on grim old place.
And Dumbledore is just a dumb old door
- your uncle once murdered a man using a live sea turtle as a club
- your face is on the $50 dollar bill, but only the chosen ones can see it
- a famous author threw a rock at one of your relatives as a child
- nuns stand outside your bedroom door trying to keep the evil at bay
- a tapir follows you home from school every day
- the country of Namibia has declared you an illegal narcotic substance
- you’ve eaten pan-fried narwhal before
- movie theaters & shopping malls always burn down mysteriously right after you leave
- 19th-century Russian composers had nightmares about you every Thursday
- approximately 40% of your friends converse only with an impostor that you’ve hired to confuse them
- you had a butler when you were little, but he got sent away after being caught stealing all of the empty bottles out of your recycling bin
- you have been scolded by a friend’s mother for wearing footwear inappropriate for the current season/weather at some point in your life
- a man with tuberculosis yells at you every once in a while for upsetting the dog in his front yard
- there are at least 6 pianos inside your house
- you’re about 600 years older than most people assume you to be
- you have the ability to talk to sea urchins and any other creatures commonly found in tidepools
- you currently own and run the world’s only single-man sugar plantation north of the equator
- your gender magically changes for the duration of the first week of every February falling under a year with the number 6 in it
- your voice is at least 9 octaves higher than any other human’s
- amateur, unlicensed psychiatrists believe you to be a danger to yourself and any insects within your immediate vicinity
- kindergartners worship you as a god
- you wash your proboscis first when taking a shower
- as far as you’re concerned, there are no such things as birds
- plants wither and die several hours after you’ve passed them in a moving vehicle
- muffled, desperate screams seem to come from your crawlspace all the time - no clue why, really
kill the current notion of villains needing to be human at the end of the day.
bring back villains that killed because they enjoyed blood on their hands.
give me villains that destroy cities because of boredom.
give me narcissistic villains that destroy others because they never compare to themselves.
give me bad guys that no one wants to empathise with.
“Your eyebrows are sisters, not twins.”